Distracted By Ladder Platforms, Totally

aluminium work platformsRemind me to never click on links sent by Clara. I really didn’t need to watch Babe I’m Gonna Sip Your Cup again. It’s basically the worst internet prank of all time…no idea what Ricky Ghastly thinks of his innocent song being abused in such a way.

Oh, Clara. You’re such an office prankster, thinking you’re so clever all the time…when actually, you’re the reason none of us are getting any work done. I know she’s all buddy-buddy with the boss, which is why she wasn’t totally and utterly fired for the incident last week. Client needs to source some aluminum work platforms from Australia somewhere. I think Sydney? Doesn’t matter. We were told that was what the client needed, so we snapped to it. Clara says she’ll take the task of organisng the mobile work platforms in the Monday meeting, which I thought was odd at the time. Clara doesn’t volunteer for anything, ever, because she’s a slacker who just wants to make the office experience ‘fun for everyone’, which is what she said the first time I confronted her about all this. It’s all lies. All lies, Clara. I see through you like a person reads the first trick in a book.

That wasn’t right. But you get it.

So we have Clara, now all interested in aluminium platforms and the joy they bring. I was suspicious, so I decided to do a bit of shadowing that day. Surprise, surprise, Clara didn’t care about aluminium platforms at all! She was actually just wanting to chat up a guy from the company, sitting there with her beautiful eyelashes fluttering, fingers twirling around the phone cord except when she was tucking her hair behind her ear in that adorable way that she does that makes me so…

Yes, anyway. It ended up being ME ordering the planks and trestles, because Clara just can’t do her job. I just watch her constantly, sitting at her desk, doing her nails, looking gorgeous…why does she have to be so gorgeous? Some of us are trying to work around here!