So as it turns out, inhaling oxygen does not give you a deep voice. That’s sad.
I kinda figured that if helium gave you a high and squeaky voice, oxygen might do something similar, but in reverse. Alas, it doesn’t really seem to do much of anything. All that time and money spent in pursuit of Melbourne’s best hyperbaric medicine treatments, and it turns out that all it does is help you to breathe. Disappointing. Well, not if you have any breathing problems, or if maybe you need to recover from a sporting injury. But if you’re looking for a naturally deeper voice than the one you were born with, then oxygen therapy isn’t for you.
I’m really just wasting the time of experts in hyperbaric medicine, which I acknowledge, but seriously…people with breathing issues have hyperbaric treatments. What do I have? I could take up smoking, but then I’d be the one with trouble breathing. Then I’d have to go and get oxygen therapy, and it’d just be a really silly, foolish and cyclical process where nobody wins and everybody is made to feel foolish. Or rather, I’d be made to feel foolish. I’ve heard that drinking scotch on a daily basis makes yours voice deeper, but I don’t particularly like the taste (or the social implications).
Unless…okay, so I take up smoking, but just enough that it changes my voice to something a little bit deeper. I might not even need hyperbaric medicine at that point, but I’d go and get it anyway because it pays to be careful. I mean, if there are places in Melbourne offering oxygen therapy, then I might as well repair any damage from my brief foray into the world of cigarettes and tobacco. If it turns out that my voice stays low and husky, then great! And if it doesn’t, well…the search continues, I suppose.
-Mark