Electricity

Hello, dearest reader. I am writing to you from the year two-thousand and something, with a dire message about our future. As the Solar Power Knight, it is my responsibility to inform the citizens of Earth about all things to do with renewable energy. Right now, I am typing this post from Stonehenge in England, but my travels take me all across this beautiful planet. I have written posts from the Great Barrier Reef, the Grand Canyon and even the moon. Earth is one of the most incredible places in the universe, but it won’t remain that way unless we do something to conserve it. Let me ask you an important question. Have you ever wondered: what is solar financing? 

I didn’t think so. Unfortunately, few people even know that solar financing exists. Once I explain the concept to them, most people find themselves fainting on the floor, so shocked that they did not know it existed. It really is a simple concept. Solar financing is all about how you are going to invest in solar technology, improving this world for the better. Unfortunately, most people expect solar panels to be completely free. It’s an investment not only in your home or business but also for your life and your planet. If you aren’t sure how you would get started with your solar financing, perhaps you should get some information about the government solar rebate. Do not underestimate the importance of switching to a clean energy source, like solar power. It really makes all the difference to maintaining the beauty of this planet.

When you do the right thing by the environment, you link yourself to it in the most beautiful way. Like two rings of smooth oak that have been intertwined, you will never be separated from the Earth. Mother Nature will thank you for investing in her. If you listen to nothing else this Solar Power Knight has to say, remember my final message: save power, save the world.

A year ago, I was convinced solar energy was ruining the planet. Now I’m going to have to go back and rewrite basically everything, because I’ve been convinced that the case is otherwise and most of my opinions are no longer valid. This is turning out like the who anti-vaccination thing all over again. Vaccinations: the Root of All Evil might have been a bestseller if I’d ever got around the publishing, but mostly because people would read and laugh at it for how wrong I was. I also owe some apologies to companies in Melbourne, commercial solar protests may have gotten out of hand. On account of all the abusive emails and staged protests.

It’s not completely my fault.  Was raised in a rural town and sent off to a pseudo-science academy at a very young age, where they taught us all kinds of things. I left not having joined the cult mentality, but all my scientific information has been repeatedly proven very wrong. You’d think I would’ve learned to fact check by now…well, that’s what I’m doing starting from now. For example, I recently learned that the ozone layer is not designed to protect us from harmful vitamin D, and that harnessing solar energy is not a wild and imprecise science that has killed thousands due to the instability of stored solar power. Basically, we were taught very early on that solar panels were ticking time bombs, ready to explode with all that stored energy, and that greedy corporations were just using it because it came freely from the sky instead of getting off their butts and mining it themselves.

So I have a lot of apologies to make, both in Melbourne and to the wider scientific community, who showed me that commercial solar solutions might just save the planet. I guess Solar Energy: The Greatest Assassin doesn’t really work as a title any more. Although Solar Energy: Golly I Nearly Screwed Up doesn’t work so well either.

-Baxter