funeral director

All I’ve ever wanted to do with my life was work at one of the many funeral homes in Perth. I realise that, for a child of nine, that is a very specific career path to have in mind, particularly since I lived in Melbourne at the time. In fact, I can remember the moment I decided that this would be my future with absolute clarity.

My grandfather had just died, of entirely natural causes, and my mother was, naturally, distraught. I hadn’t known him particularly well, he had been a typical, standoffish, ‘children should be seen and not heard’ type of man, and my mother had had a complex relationship with him. For my own part I thought his nose was grotesque and he always smelt like mouldy cheese. Mother’s grief was rendered her practically inconsolable, but it was the lady at the funeral home, beautiful, poised, cold as she was, who managed to bring my mother’s waves of emotion under control. I knew then and there I wanted to be like her, the funeral director, not my mother. That, and his death didn’t really bother me. In fact, it seemed perfectly natural.

As for the Perth part of that equation, that was only added in a couple of months later, when my parents decided I needed to see more of my own country, and so we went on a roadtrip. I fell in love with the city on the beach almost immediately. It was as far away from my family as I could get without leaving Australia, and as an added bonus, it was hot, beachy, and packed with parks. Perfect.

So there you have it. I married my career aspirations with my dream city and wound up deciding to be a funeral director in Perth. It was the best of both worlds, and I smile now, recalling just how well I knew myself at age nine, when I dreamt up this wonderful life for myself. Sometimes, I think I knew myself better then than I do now.

I feel so lost, I don’t know what I’m supposed to do. I have to call up the only person that I know that can help me to get my head straight, my friend Shelby. I’m sure she will know what to do, she usually does. I might be able to get her to help organise the funeral, if I casually mention the dead sister part. I know I shouldn’t really use people like that, there is a lot I don’t know about funerals. Shelby got in touch with the funeral home, Perth relatives are obviously heartbroken. The funeral director was willing to take us through a few of the burial details, how it is going to play out. It will not be easy, I know that I don’t have the strength to get through this alone. I just have to stay clean, it’s been so many years I can’t slip now. We all have to try and put on a brave face, the cremations are going to take place whether we like it or not. My sister made the request, we have to honour it. She never wanted to be buried, she always liked the idea of leaving nothing behind but ash. I really am doing the best I can here, to get the good job done with dignity. I’m well aware that I am not the easiest person to be around when things are tough. Shelby has a lot of patience, that’s the only reason she can work with a guy like me. I’m still at a loss for what I’m going to say at the funeral services. Perth is so far away from me right now, I have to fly across to world to say my farewell to my lost sister. At least we know what to do with the ashes. They’ll be kept in an urn for a year before being scattered on the anniversary of her death.They’ll be send across the ocean to live with the dolphins; she would like that.